The Caravan Channel.

You're a busy person, you can't keep up with everything. Sometimes even the important, cutting edge stuff can just slip by. Well that's why I'm here. For instance, when was the last time you caught up with the Caravan Channel? I thought so.


First off, as we all know, the name itself is a bit of a misnomer. As the show only lasts half an hour. The ego of these caravaners, naming an entire channel on the back of a thirty minute programme. That's like calling BBC Three, The Family Guy Channel, um, poor example there. But, as anyone who has ever been on a caravan holiday will know, half an hour can seem like an eternity. So we'll let them have that one.


The show opened with a shock, Chris Gosling is no longer the presenter. I know, I'm as stunned as you, but we have to plough on. His place has been taken by one Phil Widdows, who would look more at home at the Frimley Green Darts than outside a caravan. But Phil eased our pain, a little, by saying Chris Gosling would still be involved, but in a reduced capacity. Phew.


The first item on our packed agenda was Caravan Kitchen with Rosemary Perkins. Rosemary looks like a Hammer Horror version of Barbara Windsor. Her treat for today was fried apple pies. It seemed an awful lot of bother just getting them ready. I couldn't have been the only viewer screaming, " Go to Greggs! " Then Rosemary promptly used so much fat, that one wrong step and the caravan would've gone up like the cinema in Inglorious Basterds. The finished pies looked as appetising as a lard omelet. That didn't stop Phil Widdows tucking in. But then again, Phil doesn't look like the sort of person who recoils in horror at the sight of a pie.


The show couldn't really top Rosemary and I had to say even I found the item about caravan insulation a tad dull. But things were looking up as Bernie Jones appeared to talk to us about gas. Blue containers for summer, orange for winter. Don't say we don't teach you anything. But Bernie's real pearl of wisdom was, " Don't block your holes. " A motto to live by I think.


All too soon, Phil was wrapping up and another fun, informative Caravan Channel episode was over. There, now you don't have to worry that you've missed anything. Feel better? I thought so.


Over