The Apprentice -Britain's Business Elite?!

The Apprentice is nearly half way through and it has only just dawned on me that it really shouldn't be called The Apprentice. After all Lord Sugar is looking for a business partner this time. But I suppose that's just not that catchy enough. Why the change? Is it because the winner's always looked so deflated when L.S. told them what their new job was gong to be. Faces, bright with victory, would plunge like disappointed kids at Christmas, when told they were taking over the Flange and Wing-nut department.

Whatever the reason, the quality hasn't faltered. But why do they call the contestants Britain's business elite? If these bozos were Britain's business elite then our economy would be in the toilet and... Oh, yeah right.

Well,this seasons 'business elite' are every bit as crazy as previous years. Perhaps the stand out is Jim. A man with truly psychic abilities, who probably would sail into the X Men. On at least two occasions he has used his powers to stay out of the Boardroom, bending the weak minded around him. But no real front runner for Lord Sugar's business partner has emerged yet and I think we are about to see the jocking for position really start.

But the real stars are the people who do the make-overs on the Fired Show. Contestants who, over the weeks, look harsh, ruddy, and rough as a roofer's arse suddenly look like they have just come from a Cannes premiere. These are proper make overs, not the bit of lippy and tonce of the hair of daytime telly. Here's an idea, perhaps they could have a go on Lord Sugar, see how good they really are.

Over

Image rights thegoldguys.blogspot.com/

Greys Anatomy - No Longer Testing Our Patience.

Can there be another show so enamoured of season finales as Grey's Anatomy? Last season we had the mad gunman running through Seattle Grace, wiping out a whole herd of peripheral characters. So what would they serve up to top that? Well, it went totally in the opposite direction, instead of physical danger, we had almost everyone in some sort of mental, or moral, turmoil. Quite clever really and every bit as exciting. If you like Grey's Anatomy that is.

And there is the rub. A lot of viewers might have drifted away. The Grey's Anatomy of season seven is not the same as that of seasons one to four, it is much better. I felt when it started, it was a very self centred and almost arrogant, affair. There was too much emphasis on the titular dippy Meredith Grey,needy Izzy and dull George. The only character with any real umph was Christina nd for about three seasons it went on that way. testing everyone's patience (no pun intended)

But then it started to change, more characters were introduced and the show adopted a much more ensemble feel. But for me the real shift in gear came when Izzy (Katherine Heigl) left. The character was so needy and overly sentimental that she seemed to suck the air out of every episode. With her gone and the Meredith character reduced to fit into the ensemble, Grey's Anatomy gained pace and became a proper (well sort of) medical drama. OK, it's never going to be better than ER at its peak, but I'd bet it kills Holby. Think I've just damned Grey's Anatomy with faint praise there.

It still can err on the side of sentimentality and it's still wedded to endless, dour songs over the emotional moments (Elbow seem to be flavour of the month) but we can forgive that. Mainly because Grey's (as we like to call it, or do we?) is finally a show that seems comfortable with itself.

Over

Justified - A modern western.

It's sad when brilliant shows get buried. Justified is a great example and 5USA is one of the best burial grounds your remote will find. Ten years ago Justified would have been on Channel 4 at around ten o'clock, with a decent enough audience. But now it just wallows amidst the endless CSI reruns 5USA loves.

So, what's so great about Justified? Well, It comes from characters created by Elmore Leonard (Pronto, Riding the Rap and Fire In the Hole) and let me know if I'm wrong, but this must be his first unqualified television success, I remember the, short lived flops that were Maximum Bob and Karen Cisco. Justified is set in Harlan Kentucky, and it is very much a modern western. The dialogue is sharp, the story-lines are pacy and like all the best Elmore Leonard, the villains are given every bit as much time, if not more, than the heroes.

So we need a front man who can really carry the show and we have him in the shape of Timothy Olyphant as Marshall Raylan Givens. He is not a million miles away from Seth Bullock, the character he played in Deadwood, but Raylan, although every bit as deadly, is lighter, funnier, and much more laid back. Timothy Olyphant is perfect in the role, he walks like he owns Harlan and takes very little lip from anyone. The first season saw Raylan do battle with the Crowder family and his complicated relationship with Boyd Crowder, played excellently by Walton Goggins. They are always one step from being friends or killing each other. But Raylan is also plagued by his father, surely the most evil parent since Livia Soprano. Add to that an ex wife and girlfriend who was married to a Crowder and you have the ingredients for an entertaining and complex show.

Now into its second buried season on 5USA Justified has thrown up an even nastier foe for Raylan in the shape of the Bennett's. A hillbilly family, all smiles one moment, then shockingly violent the next. I can't wait for the show down.

But I do wonder how many other buried shows are out there? Little gems tucked away, only watched by a small, loyal band.

Over

Games Of Thrones - The Sopranos successor.

Who would have thought that Game of Thrones would turn out to be HBO's successor to The Sopranos and Deadwood? Well certainly not me.

It has all the tension and immanent betrayal that The Sopranos did so well. With the sudden bursts of shocking violence that was Deadwood's stock in trade, plus the menace of both. Add to that a little sword and sorcery, well a lot of sword actually, and you have a cracking adult drama.

I'm quite glad I haven't read the books. I looked at them in Waterstones recently and I could barely lift them, never mind read them. So all the shocks, and sudden deaths, will hit me squarely on the chin, and there have been plenty of both so far. It’s also written, and acted, with the requisite levels of conviction. All the various story strands are handled brilliantly, never rushing, which makes me think HBO are in for the long haul. Let's hope so. Although, will it still be called Game of Thrones when we get to the second book?

This might be the first series on Sky Atlantic that I actually want to see the second season of. Let's be honest would you really miss them if Boardwalk Empire or Bored to Death never came back?

Over.

in Treatment - As dull as dish water or TV genius?

If I am to believe what I read, the viewing figures for season one of In Treatment made The Vanessa Show look like the X Factor final, but then again it was tucked away on Sky Arts. Now season two has arrived on the much snazzier Sky Atlantic.

Based on the Israeli show Be Tipul, (imagine how poor the ratings would be if they showed that) In Treatment centers on fifty something psychotherapist Paul Weston, immaculately played Gabriel Byrne. Each episode is basically a one to one with a patient. And we follow their progress, or lack of it, through the season. I can feel you yawning already. But what, at first, seems a stifling concept turns out to be quite the opposite. Put bluntly, In Treatment is one of the best shows on the telly. Character driven, the conversations are riveting, as secrets emerge and tables are turned. Often the spotlight falls on Paul Weston, who is a deeply flawed man, add to this In Treatment is one of the finest acted shows you will come across and you have the complete package.

But the only problem is that Sky Atlantic are showing it in double episodes, where as Sky Arts put out an episode a night (Monday- Friday). This enabled the season to flow. Meaning you were only a week away from each character returning, but that's a small quibble, at least it is back. I know I haven't put forward a great case for you to give In Treatment a go. That's one of the show's drawbacks I suppose, it sounds dry and dull until you watch it and find yourself hooked.

Over

UPDATE: In Treatment has been cancelled by HBO after three seasons. However there are some reports it could come back in a different format. Possibly just focusing on the main character Paul Weston.

Spoilers are the devils work.

I have a confession. I am addicted to spoilers. As an avid TV viewer this is probably something I should stop doing, as I'm ruining my favorite shows for myself, but I just can’t seem to stop looking. Whenever I see that warning on a forum saying ‘SPOILER ALERT’ I find myself clicking away then wondering why I did two minutes later. I just can’t help it. If I'm invested in a show and America are a few episodes or seasons in front of the UK, I make it my business to find out what's going on.

I managed to find out the end of season 4 of Dexter months before the UK even began showing it on FX. So from the very first episode of season 4 I knew Rita was a dead woman walking. It all started when she popped up in Desperate Housewives last year which made me wonder if she was still in Dexter and it turned out that she wasn't!

It doesn't stop there though, I know loads of things about all my favourite shows...

I know something vital about the last ever episode of Medium; I just managed to see what happens between Blair and Dan in the latest episode of Gossip Girl and I know what happens in the latter part of season 3 in Fringe because I just can’t help myself from looking! I know who shot Paul in Desperate Housewives and I know what happens between Finn and Rachel in Glee.I have managed to stop myself from looking to see what happens in True Blood and Boardwalk Empire but I think that’s mainly because I don’t care that much. I NEVER look to see what happens in Mad Men but thats because nothing much ever happens and I wouldn't want to find out about the only thing that happens in 12 episodes. I always have to watch the 'next week on...' after the shows I'm watching, and always press information on the TV Guide to see the show synopsis for the following week

Personally I blame the UK's TV schedule. We are always so behind the US in showing the latest TV shows. We are a whole season behind True Blood, Dexter and Boardwalk Empire. 3 seasons behind Weeds and season 3 of Breaking Bad (perhaps the best show on TV) hasn’t even seen the light of day over here yet. I’m hoping Sky Atlantic is going to change all this, and we might start being up to date with the shows so I wont have to spoil my TV viewing. Sky 1 boasted for months that Modern Family and Fringe were ‘days behind the states’ which to be fair they were. I managed to keep myself from reading about them as I knew I’d get to see the show in a couple of days but they then bump them from their schedule for Louie Spence’s Show Business! This means, we are now 8 episodes behind Fringe and Modern Family, and I've consequently read what's happening in the latest episodes because I'm bored of waiting for them to come back... either that or I need to get a hobby.

IMAGE: http://www.flickr.com/photos/robbodnar/483442163/sizes/m/in/photostream/

Whats happened to BBC 2?

Last night BBC4 showed Morgan Matthews documentary Scenes from a Teenage Killing. It was a bleak, brilliant and powerful commemoration of all the teenagers who died a violent death in 2009. But why was this shoved away on a week night on BBC4? Surely the place for this magnificent programme should have been Saturday night on BBC2. I'm showing my age, but back in the day, it would have been.

This made me think, what is the role of BBC2 these days? All the eye catching stuff goes to its much younger siblings BBC3 and BBC4. They get the hip and the heavyweight. While poor old BBC2 trundles along with endless Coast and Top Gear. Just looking at the nightly line up shows it's a channel that seems to have lost its way. Most everything on it can be moved to other BBC channels and no one would bat an eyelid. It has lost its identity which, in its hay day, was an intelligent, entertaining alternative to the other terrestrial channels. But, perhaps there lies the problem. As channels multiplied and everything spread out, things slip away.

Now BBC2 is just there. But I remember its salad days with fondness. The Saturday night Midnight Movie. Where an entire generation was introduced to Si-fi greats like The Incredible Shrinking Man and Roger Corman's Gothic Edgar Allen Poe adaptations. Not to mention all the great Hammer Horrors. But here I go, middle-aged, pining for long gone days of channel loyalty and identity. I'll be wanting the Testcard with music back next so I can sip me Horlics and have a nap.

Whatever the fate of BBC2, if you get the chance to see Scenes from a Teenage Killing, jump at it. You won't forget it in a hurry.

Over.

The Caravan Channel.

You're a busy person, you can't keep up with everything. Sometimes even the important, cutting edge stuff can just slip by. Well that's why I'm here. For instance, when was the last time you caught up with the Caravan Channel? I thought so.


First off, as we all know, the name itself is a bit of a misnomer. As the show only lasts half an hour. The ego of these caravaners, naming an entire channel on the back of a thirty minute programme. That's like calling BBC Three, The Family Guy Channel, um, poor example there. But, as anyone who has ever been on a caravan holiday will know, half an hour can seem like an eternity. So we'll let them have that one.


The show opened with a shock, Chris Gosling is no longer the presenter. I know, I'm as stunned as you, but we have to plough on. His place has been taken by one Phil Widdows, who would look more at home at the Frimley Green Darts than outside a caravan. But Phil eased our pain, a little, by saying Chris Gosling would still be involved, but in a reduced capacity. Phew.


The first item on our packed agenda was Caravan Kitchen with Rosemary Perkins. Rosemary looks like a Hammer Horror version of Barbara Windsor. Her treat for today was fried apple pies. It seemed an awful lot of bother just getting them ready. I couldn't have been the only viewer screaming, " Go to Greggs! " Then Rosemary promptly used so much fat, that one wrong step and the caravan would've gone up like the cinema in Inglorious Basterds. The finished pies looked as appetising as a lard omelet. That didn't stop Phil Widdows tucking in. But then again, Phil doesn't look like the sort of person who recoils in horror at the sight of a pie.


The show couldn't really top Rosemary and I had to say even I found the item about caravan insulation a tad dull. But things were looking up as Bernie Jones appeared to talk to us about gas. Blue containers for summer, orange for winter. Don't say we don't teach you anything. But Bernie's real pearl of wisdom was, " Don't block your holes. " A motto to live by I think.


All too soon, Phil was wrapping up and another fun, informative Caravan Channel episode was over. There, now you don't have to worry that you've missed anything. Feel better? I thought so.


Over