The Apprentice - You're Fired Lord Sugar.

Is it me or is The Apprentice struggling a little bit this series? Much like Big Brother before it, the contestants all seem the same. Where BB went for a uniform kooky, The Apprentice has gone for these paper tiger business types, all spouting the same rhetoric.
OK, I know they are told to play up, but when they are all alike it tends to get a bit much. Do we blame 'The Brand' from a few years ago for this overblown trend? Whoever started it, we are now lumbered with endless twaddle like 'I was a millionaire before I was ten' or 'I've built my business up from nothing now I export to Mars.'

   

Also I can't think anyone really likes this whole Alan's Den thing they have going on. No longer a job up for grabs (because we all know how well that worked out) you now get to go into business with Lord Sugar. Last series showed the flaws in this new format where the worst contestant won. He even had the naffest idea in the final (some sort of chair) but he triumphed because LS liked his idea for a nail file. The said nail file wasn't even mentioned until after he had won. Forgone conclusion was the conclusion most viewers jumped to.

 

So has LS already got his winner? Has one of the nameless contestants got a fantastic new mouse trap or cork screw waiting in the wings; so no matter how bad he, or she, performs, in a task, they will mysteriously sail through to the final. Surely that trick can only be pulled so many times before us loyal viewers say 'You're fired' to The Apprentice.

 

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The Apprentice -Britain's Business Elite?!

The Apprentice is nearly half way through and it has only just dawned on me that it really shouldn't be called The Apprentice. After all Lord Sugar is looking for a business partner this time. But I suppose that's just not that catchy enough. Why the change? Is it because the winner's always looked so deflated when L.S. told them what their new job was gong to be. Faces, bright with victory, would plunge like disappointed kids at Christmas, when told they were taking over the Flange and Wing-nut department.

Whatever the reason, the quality hasn't faltered. But why do they call the contestants Britain's business elite? If these bozos were Britain's business elite then our economy would be in the toilet and... Oh, yeah right.

Well,this seasons 'business elite' are every bit as crazy as previous years. Perhaps the stand out is Jim. A man with truly psychic abilities, who probably would sail into the X Men. On at least two occasions he has used his powers to stay out of the Boardroom, bending the weak minded around him. But no real front runner for Lord Sugar's business partner has emerged yet and I think we are about to see the jocking for position really start.

But the real stars are the people who do the make-overs on the Fired Show. Contestants who, over the weeks, look harsh, ruddy, and rough as a roofer's arse suddenly look like they have just come from a Cannes premiere. These are proper make overs, not the bit of lippy and tonce of the hair of daytime telly. Here's an idea, perhaps they could have a go on Lord Sugar, see how good they really are.

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TRUMP V SUGAR

It's good to have Donald Trump back on our screens, even if it is at 12.20 in the morning. The Apprentice USA is being slung away in double bills in the early hours. Thankfully it's not entered the Sign Zone. You know, where the BBC thinks everyone who watches telly through the night is stone death.

Well, it's been a fair few years since I last saw the highly entertaining Apprentice USA. There have been some changes. In fact the only thing that hasn't changed is Mr. Trump's hair. It's still that same intriguing puzzle, where does it come from? Is it a comb over, comb forward, what? Last week there was a fashion show on a beach. I was scared one hefty sea breeze and Donald would've been blown three miles out to sea.

The Apprentice USA is more of a game show than our more restrained version. The winning team stays in a mansion. While the losers camp in tents outside. A strong reminder of how much America is a winner takes it all society. The contestants tell us how much they hate losing and want to live in the lap of luxury, just like Mr. Trump. And boy are they loud.

What I have noticed, and it is bound to cross over to our show, is that when someone wants to slag a fellow contestant off, they shower them with praise first. It goes something like this: " I think Chad is a truly great, kind and loving person. But he has no leadership skills, he's lazy and won't fit into your organisation Mr. Trump. "

The Apprentice USA is less task orientated than our version. In the main it concentrates on what happens after and the lead up to face Donald Trump in the boardroom. This is where Trump trumps Lord Sugar ( or whatever he's called this season ) He has an intimidating air, but also he is idolised by the contestants. They want to be him. Unlike our mob who tolerate Lord Sugar because they think, 'screw the job, I want a presenting spot on Channel 5.'

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