The X Factor USA - Gamu's Revenge.

So America has snubbed our nations sweetheart. Thats right, despite only being in the job for two weeks, Cheryl Cole has been sacked from the X Factor USA and her job has been given to co-host Nicole Sherzinger! The papers are claiming her thick Geordie accent is to blame, but they're also saying she didn’t have any chemistry with Paula Abdul. Personally I think there's a lot more to it then that and the whole story raises a lot of questions.

So: Was hiring Cheryl a publicity stunt in the first place? Was she always going to be sacked to gain publicity for the show? Why was the news released on the same day as the American Idol final? Did Paula get jealous of Cheryl and Simon’s relationship? Was Nicole Sherzinger always there as a replacement judge? Did Gamu instigate the whole thing, in some sort of evil genius revenge plot? Is it just a coincidence that Cheryl gets the sack the day after Geordie Shore airs on TV? Who Knows?

All we do know is that FOX have shown Cheryl the door and her so-called best friend has stabbed her in the back. So what happens for Cheryl now? Is she come back to the UK X Factor? Will she save our version from imploding? Or is she going to throw her dummy out the pram and tell Cowell to shove his show where the sun don’t shine?

If she does come back and that’s a big if, she should make a few demands. The first one should be making sure she's the head judge. If she returned, she would be the most senior judge on the panel (Louie doesn't count) and therefore should get the best chair. Gary Barlow shouldn’t automatically get it, just because he's replacing Simon. It would also give her a little bit of dignity which she needs right now. She should also demand a pay rise from Cowell. Not that she needs the money but it’s the least he can do after the way she's been treated. And finally she should demand that Danni Minogue is reinstated immediately. That last part isn't going to happen but now Cheryl understands how Danni's been treated over the past couple of years she should fight her corner.

The thing is if he plays it properly this won't destroy her career. Ant and Dec tried their hand in America and failed miserably, no one remembers that. Robbie Williams didn't make it in America, Oasis didn't make it in America and it hasn't made the slightest difference to them. No, as long as Cheryl gets her head straight and doesn't run into the arms of Ashley Cole she will be fine.

The idea situation of course is that she comes back as head judge and saves our version from imploding into a big old chavvy NDUBZ mess. By doing that she will immediatly reinstate herself as the nations sweetheart and make sure the X Factor reigns as the best reality TV show out there.

UPDATE: If you thought the speculation of Cheryl getting the job on X Factor USA was exhausting, it's just got a whole lot worse. Now we get to read about whether she's going to be on the UK show or not. According to todays reports, she's gone on a complete sulk and is refusing to come back, thus commiting career suicide and leaving us with Tulisa! I'll update more on Wednesday which is when we will have our offical panel but for the love of god can someone just hand Danni a wad of cash and put her on a Qauntas flight! Now!

Who will Simon choose?

Last night was the National Television Awards and good god wasn’t it dull? It was completely self indulgent and a massive snooze fest but it did provide us with a couple of TV gems.

The first one being, Konnie Huq telling a reporter she would be back as the Xtra Factor host next year. Clearly Simon hasn’t got around to giving her, her P45 yet. He will soon enough.

The second was Bruce Forsyth announcing his retirement live on TV. For a few seconds Strictly Come Dancing viewers were actually looking forward to being able to watch the show without fast forwarding whenever Bruce was alone on screen. But only two seconds later (after the crowd protested weakly) he said it was all a joke (he likes those) and that he wasn’t going anywhere. Any hopes SCD fans had for next season were well and truly crushed.

The only news worthy information to come out of last night was that Simon Cowell will be announcing the judges of X Factor USA in two weeks time. If the look on Cheryl Coles face was anything to go by I think it’s safe to say she hasn’t got the gig. Of course I thought Richard Keys and Andy Gray were going to get away scot free, so what do I know?

Anyway I thought it might be a good idea to give Cowell a hand in picking his judge’s and made a little list of possible candidates. Although I’m not even going to pretend I have any idea who the other male judge is, so I’m just going to concentrate on the ladies.

Cheryl Cole: Cheryl of course does a stand up job here in the UK and we all love her (except for when she’s putting through crying rappers at bootcamp, over talented ladies and refusing to vote) But Fox are worried she isn’t famous enough in the US, and it is widely rumoured she may just take on the Sinnita role instead (the Sinnita role being pretending to help Simon do his job but really just getting some screen time) And I never thought I’d say this but I have to agree with Fox. I think it would be a mistake letting her be a judge on the US version. She is unknown and they wouldn’t get why we like her so much, sometimes I don’t even know why we like her so much. They should instead make her the head judge on the UK version as Simon clearly won’t be around until the live shows.

Nicole Sherzinger: She pretty much secured her place when she stood in for Danni last year at the adutions and boot camp. She was fun, friendly, firm and completly got what the job was about. She will be a massive hit if she gets the gig, which she probably already has.

Katy Perry: Also did well as a guest judge on the UK version, but she did have a lot to say for herself and apparently annoyed Simon quite a bit which may have damaged her chances. She would add some glamour to the show and it would be nice to see someone other than Louie stand up to Simon.

Rhianna: has the potential to be the Cheryl Cole of the US. She has gone through a rough time with her boyfriend just like Cheryl and is extremely popular, again just like Cheryl. However she has never mentored or guest judged on the UK version so she is unproven and if she was a flop it would be a big embarrassment.

Apparently two of these four will be judges and I guess we will know in the next couple of weeks, if I had it my way I’d go Rhinna and Nicole Sherzinger. Either way I’m sure there will be some surprises. There always is with the X Factor.