I think I know how next weeks, Torchwood Miracle Day will go...
It will start with Captain Jack flogging a dead horse, but, as we know, the horse can't die. So we'll have lots of news broadcasts, in lots of languages, telling us that the horse can't die. Then there will be a long turgid pause while someone from ER and someone from Six Feet Under give us theories on why the horse can't die. At that moment we will cross to Wales, where Gwen and that bloke who's her husband will repeat exactly what we've just seen, this is done so all concerned can still feel Wales is part of the Torchwood universe. Back in the USA we'll get a few minutes of Bill Pullman evangelically sermonising on God's hand in why the flogged horse can't die. Then just as your finger wavers over the fast forward button, about to x6 it, a whole bundle of Mission Impossible, 24 and Flash Forward is thrown in to speed up the plot. As tosh levels start to rise again, some actor from some other American show will turn up and you will spend the next ten minutes wondering what you've seen him in. Boredom will be back on the menu as we see computer screen after computer screen but no forward momentum. By the end of the show, Jack will still be flogging the dead horse, in that sodding WWII coat of his and the 'next week' segment will seem eerily familiar.
Over
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