When I was a young lad a week at Butlins Bognor did me and me mates. But that's not good enough anymore you've got to go abroad and act like a rabid dog to have a good time. Well that's what Channel 4 would have us believe in their follow up to the Kavos nightmare What Happens In Sunny Beach. Sunny Beach is sunny with a beach and is in Bulgaria; and looks a lot nicer than Kavos, which always resembles a disused industrial estate to me. But the young Brit holiday makers are much the same, and I use that term lightly; because they make the Hordes of Attila the Hun look like an OAP's coach trip. The obvious low, of the first episode, was when a trainee brain surgeon called Nips but a banger up his bum and set it off. The amazing thing was the camera crew let him do it. But I doubt they would have persuaded the intellectually astute Nips it was a bad idea. In my day you started the evening with a pint of Kestral lager, not a firework up the anus. Well we were graphically shown what happens when you do it. You get, quite literally, torn a new one. The other joy was watching the erudite Nips haggling over the price of his treatment as the beleagured medic was sewing up his second rectum. The rest of What Happens In Sunny Beach was the usual, Kavos style, sex and spew fest with no moral compass. In fact it is almost like an hour long advert. "Hey kids come and act like Caligula for ten days!" The irony is me and the wife went to a caravan site in Selsey Bill called Sunny Beach and next caravan's dog wouldn't stop barking all week. No that mutt deserved a firework where the sun don't shine, or did in Nips case.
Ranting Ronnie.
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