Hello, I'm one of those kindly old codgers that you only see in adverts and I've just signed up for the fantastic new Armchair Assassins over 60's Burial Plan. You see I have left everything to my greedy ******* kids and I know that they would hate the added expense of burying me.So taking up the Armchair Assassins Burial Plan will avoid the open dog fight that will ensue the moment I go tits up.It would go something like this :
"Well I'm not ****** burying the old *******."
"Don't look at me,neither am I. Let him ******* rot."
"Well we'll just leave it to the ******* Council then."
Also when I pass 90, which my greedy kids definitely hope I won't, the Armchair Assassins Plan gives a bonus to my equally greedy ******* grand kids, who just look at me like I'm a coffin full of money anyway.
So if you want to avoid the ignominy of a paupers grave I suggest you take out the Armchair Assassins Burial Plan for just £20 a month you can have complete peace of mind. Or you can leave all your money to the Local Cat Protection League comforted in the knowledge your greedy ******* kid's heads will explode.
Kindly Old Codger.
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