The Home and Away Universe - Part 2

As anyone who follows these insane ramblings will know, the Home and Away universe has never been stronger. Boasting two new spin offs Morag Bellingham Investigates and Mangrove Rising. Well it was only a matter of time before we got the three episode cross over and here it is.

We start with Morag Bellingham Investigates. Morag is handling what seems to be a routine case, when she is urgently called to the City. She gives her idiot assistant Lance, the easy task of delivering the case papers to the Mangrove River Police. Then heads off. But when she gets to the City she realises she has been lured away. Morag decides to investigate why and doesn't like what she finds.

Episode two takes us to Summer Bay. Instead of going straight to Mangrove River, Lance decides to pop in and see his mum, Colleen at the Diner. While there he chats to Xavier. Who decides to go to Mangrove River with Lance. This is not out of character, because, as we know, if it's a choice between the right decision and the wrong one, Xavier always plumps for the wrong one. So two of the greatest idiots in Home and Away history set off for Mangrove River.

Episode three starts with Elijah, aka Power Prawn, following up a lead. As we know he has been investigating a new crime Kingpin who has moved into Mangrove River. And is flooding the area with cheap drugs. His enquiries have lead him to the bush. We see Lance and Xavier arguing over a map as they drive to Mangrove River. Then as he emerges from the brush, they sideswipe Elijah. Still arguing about the map, the moronic duo have no idea what they have done. Elijah lays in the undergrowth injured and unconscious. ( a tried and tested, solid staple of both Home and Away and Neighbours you'll agree.)

When Elijah fails to contact him Donald Fisher, who you will remember is Power Prawn's Alfred figure, starts to worry. As we all know there is never any mobile phone signal in the bush. So he sets out in search. Arriving in Mangrove River Lance and Xavier realise they have left the case papers on the Diner counter. Phoning Colleen, Lance says he needs the papers right away, or Morag will throw a fit. Unable to leave the Diner, Colleen asks a bored Ruby if she will take them. She agrees and sets off.

Don is having no luck finding Elijah. Realising that without Power Prawn Mangrove River could descend into drug addled anarchy he is distraught. Meanwhile Lance and Xavier are being followed, when they come out of a coffee shop the are bundled into a car and told to hand over the papers. Their protestations land on deaf ears as they are hauled up in front of the new crime Kingpin of Mangrove River. It is none other than the long presumed dead Josh 'flaming' West!

Will Elijah be found?... Will Ruby deliver the papers?... Will Morag discover what is going on?... Will Lance and Xavier be rescued? Will sanity ever return to this column?

Over.