I've watched Neighbours for more years than I care to remember and I would probably watch it if all they did was sit in a circle and read out the Melbourne telephone directory. Trouble is, that would be a bit more exciting than the current crop of storylines. While Home and Away, with all its cops and crimes, is busy doing an impression of The Shield, Neighbours has crept into a cosy coma.
So what has Ramsey Street got to offer over Summer Bay? Not a lot. There is the sensational, edge of the seat, shopping centre farrago, will the local business owners get enough signatures on their petition to make the council sit up and listen? I don't know about you but I've bitten my nails to the quick with the taut tension of it all. Then there's the rip roaring rollercoaster that is the Sophie guitar lessons saga. I had to take Valium because of all the excitement. We also have the Tash's mum thing, what really happened there? Who really cares? And Michael's tiresome brooding makes Mr. Rochester look like a Butlins Redcoat. Then there is the inevitable Andrew hair-brained scheme, which we all know will end in tears. But on the plus side, I think we all love his Crocodile Dundee meets Rab C Nesbitt accent.
What Neighbours needs is a good villain. I'm not saying go mad cap like Home and Away. Summer Bay, at the moment, makes Gotham City look like Disneyland but someone to shake it up a little. I thought they might have had one in the shape of Michelle, the bunny boiler housemate of Kyle and Jade, but that just got thrown away. Even when they've had a meaty storyline, Neighbours seems to soften it. Like the Brennan cop corruption thing a few months back. If that was Home and Away, it would have culminated in, at the very least, a massive chase and shoot out. But no, all we got was the uber sappy Kate running through the night.
Someone once said, watching Neighbours is like having eight hours sleep. Sadly, these days, it is like being Sleeping Beauty.
Over
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