The Jeremy Kyle Show.

It's about time they got a better class of person on the Jeremy Kyle Show. I mean, I've been watching the show from the beginning and the people they have on now make the ones that used to be on Trisha look like Camilla Parker Bowels. There is absolutely no respect for the lie detector or DNA results, they are always wrong and result in the spoilt brats storming off the stage. How Jeremy puts up with it I'll never know, the man must have the patience of a saint. I know, if I was him, I'd have to have a shower with a big bar of carbolic after every show. And all thiscounselling malarkey, there was none of that in my day; the only piece of good advice you needed was' pull your socks up'. I think that would work on the show, drug and alcohol problems all Jeremy would need to say was 'pull your socks up' and give them a firm handshake. Fifteen kids by fifteen different mothers... pull your socks up and a firm hand shake, problem solved. Too fat to leave the house... Pull your socks up and a firm handshake, problem solved. But no all they do is act up and go for each other. 

You know full well where they get their bad behaviour, professional footballers, that's where. All surrounding the ref and going down like they have been assassinated from the stand. There was none of that in my day, you never saw Sir Stanley Matthews or Sir Nat Lofthouse barracking the ref or rolling around. If the ref gave a penalty, back then, all the players gave him a hearty handshake and congratulated him on a correct decision. Do you think we'd ever see Wayne Rooney do that?

And another thing, you always hear about all the shenanigans the Jeremy Kyle mob get up to in the hotel, the night before, here's a tip don't open the mini bar to them. That's like giving buns to an elephant. I'd like to watch something else, but I can't stand Dom Littlewood and Matthew Wright's ears scare me, so I suppose I'm stuck with Jeremy.

Ernie Wellthorpe (retired)