As you know we here at Armchair Assassins like to cater for your every vice, err need. We have a successful Television Channel and a thriving Burial Insurance con, err scheme going. So now we give you the complete betting experience. With the Armchair Assassins Safely Skint Yourself Betting App. With our unique service you can wager as much as you like on any aspect of life. Not only sports events, but two snails crawling up your garden path, when the postman will deliver your giro or even how long your granny will live*. We take all bets. But the real USP of our App is that when you have lost every penny you have to us ( and you will ) we also have a Pay Day Loan Shark, err scheme going. Where you can borrow up to a grand** and pay us back when you want, as long as it is within a week. And when you default on your debt ( which you will ), we will then offer you our Log Book Loan Service where you can also lose your car to us. So you see what fun our Betting App can be, so why not be a mug, err savvy gambler and join up to day!
* Please ( titter ) gamble ( giggle ) responsibly.
** Our interest rate is a gazillion percent a week. Late Payments will get messy, Game of Thrones messy.
Armchair Assassins Betting &Loans Con, Err Dept.
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