We all know how much you dislike your greedy kids, so you will love our new Funeral Plan update. Our new policy allows you to have a fantastic funeral while we con your money grabbing offspring it will be a frugal affair. So while all the documentation makes the greedy buggers think they will have money for holidays, X Boxes and the like, the truth is far from that.
So imagine their horror as six black horses pulling the carraige containing your top of the range coffin. You will almost be able to hear their jaws drop as Alfie Boe sings an aria at your service.
'How much does he cost?' They will moan.
'There goes our holiday to the bloody Algarve.'
They will physically wither as the Crystal and caviar is served up at the sumptuous do after. Think of how wonderful it will be as the food sticks in their greedy throats. So you can now die happy , plus our service of giving the proceeds of the sale of your house to a local donkey sanctuary comes as standard with the policy. So why not upgrade now and secretly smile at all the greedy plans that will go down the gurgler
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