Armchair Assassins End of Yeat Awards 2016 Ends in Wildlife Disaster!

As you may have read in the Prestatyn Daily Bugle our end of year awards ceremony ended quite badly. However it wasn't as terrible as reported and certainly not the 'stain on the town that will take decades to erase' as they put it. So perhaps it is better we put our side of the events.
OK, we certainly shouldn't have held the awards ceremony in the car park of the closed down British  Home Stores, but then again how were we to know it suffered from a chronic rat infestation that made it the favourite hang out of every urban fox in the whole of Denbigshire. But we though the squeals of dying, chewed up, rats would be overwhelmed by the glitz and glamour of our event. Another blow was the fact our regular host, Frankie Cocozza seems to have dropped off the face of the earth. We became so alarmed that we had to look up and see if he wasn't part of last years celebrity death epidemic; thankfully he wasn't. But without Frankie we went to our, let's be diplomatic, and call him our second choice Chico. We knew we had kind of made a mistake when Chico came on and shouted "What time is it?" and our audience looked at their watches and phones totally baffled. When he followed it up with "It's Chico time!" the surly crowd seemed even more bemused.
But really everyone was there to see our star attraction. It was Moose, the dog from the Clear Score adverts. So as the crowd stared chanting "We want Moose" and "What Doing?" as Chico was delivering his reasonably energetic set we thought it best to get the canine superstar on stage. However there was a slight mix up and we hired the wrong Moose. The one we got was from a long forgotten 90s kids show. In our defence how many famous dogs called Moose can there be? So when an arthritic cockapoo hobbled on stage the crowd went wild shouting "That's not Moose!... What doing?" But before they could take action Moose was attacked by half a dozen ravenous foxes and a couple of robust rats. After  Moose was nastily disposed of the pack immediately went for Chico. Who, in his defence, put up a hell of a fight The sight of this gory feeding frenzy sent our surly audience running from the car park hotly pursued by the newly allied rats and foxes. So after that we decided to perhaps call it a day. Also we would like to correct the local radio news station that reported an escaped Moose had killed an ex X Factor Star. Well we decided to pack up the award trophies and get out of Prestatyn before they, run us out on a rail or constructed a wicker man for us. But our awards had disappeared. We later found out that when Chico realised to wasn't going to get paid he took the trophies to the local Cash Converters. Fair enough I suppose, because he did spent a week or so in hospital with various fox and rat bites.
So if all goes well we will be back next year bigger and better. But, just in case, we've  hired a private detective to find Frankie Cocozza, so fingers crossed.
Over